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Wisecrack-Ups
May 1934 Flying Aces

May 1934 Flying Aces

Flying Aces May 1934 - Airplanes and Rockets3 Table of Contents

These pages from vintage modeling magazines like Flying Aces, Air Trails, American Modeler, American Aircraft Modeler, Young Men, Flying Models, Model Airplane News, R/C Modeler, captured the era. All copyrights acknowledged.

Humor in the 1930s was a bit different than it is today. Times were simpler and thought processes were not as complex as in today's world where information is attacking you every moment of the day. Public discourse and personal decorum were held to a higher level, so even stinging jokes and references usually didn't require lowering yourself into the cultural gutter to comprehend and appreciate. As you read through these "Wisecrack-Ups" from the May 1934 issue of Flying Aces magazine, some of the quips will seem corny or downright dumb. Most can be appreciated even by modern humor standards, and all will be repeatable to any audience regardless of age or gender. An occasional nod is given to Lt. Phineas Pinkham, of the the "turbulent and inimitable Ninth Pursuit Squadron," during World War I (known simply as "the World War" at the time since #II had not occurred yet.) Enjoy. 

Wisecrack-Ups

Wisecrack-Ups, May 1934 Flying Aces - Airplanes and RocketsTaxi in on this runway and pick up a plane load of laughs! In this department, we present a collection of jokes, cartoons, and humorous verse. For all original contributions which we can use here, Flying Aces will pay $1.00. No contributions will be returned unless a stamped, self-addressed envelope is enclosed.

 - Airplanes and Rockets

Impractical Aeronautics No. 59 - An Early Voisin Fighter

We knew we'd come to it eventually - Mad Anthony Mainbearing's entry into the Great War. Those Lafayette Escadrille guys were months behind Mad Anthony. He was out there a week before it started and, frankly, we're afraid he was the prime cause of it. He happened to be in France, showing his early Voisin fighter. His gunner, Count de la Derringer, spotted a German sausage skimming across the Verdun forts, taking a pre-war look-see. That was too much for la Derringer. He drew first blood and a dash of hamburger with a bead on Eric von Tarpotz and brought down a perfectly useless Taube triplane - sausage machine and all. That was the beginning of the war in the air.

Here's a Hot One

A new air student started his first flight by loading his plane with hot water bottles and a couple of oil stoves.

The instructor hauled him back.

"What is all that stuff you've got?"

"Just some knick-knacks," the pupil replied airily, "to keep me from freezing to the stick."

Try, Try Again!

Slip (as plane passes over his head on take-off): Gosh! That's a swell . tri-motor.

Stream: Tri-motor nothing! That plane's only got one engine.

Slip: Yeah, but it sure does try hard.

Wearing Down the Green

Pat and Mike were having a heavy argument over which one could stand the most stunting in a plane. Finally they hired a pilot to put on an aerobatic show while they were his passengers.

Before starting, the pilot said, "When either of you is ready to quit, say 'sufficient.' "

Up they went, and after about an hour of sky-twisters, Pat suddenly yelled, "Sufficient!"

"Begorra," said Mike, with deep relief, "Oi've been tryin' to think of that word for the past twinty minutes!"

Pass the Paprika!

Student Pilot: What does this instruction mean by 'Seasoned Squadron'?"

C. O.: I gather they were mustered by the C. O. and peppered by the enemy.

Signal's Off!

First pilot: Joe is good at emergency signaling.

Second: Yes, he has a flare for that!

Two colored boys had left the field in a two-seater to look around the country. When the plane returned, only one of them was in it.

"Snowball," said the major, what happened to your friend?"

"Well, suh," he quavered, "back about six miles, he fell out. Fo'tunately dere was a load of hay below him, but unfo'tunately, dere was a pitchfork stickin' up out of de hay. Well, fo'tunately he missed the pitchfork, but unfo'tunately - he missed de hay."

Who's Loony Now?

First collector: Want to see a picture of a rare Civil War plane?

 - Airplanes and Rockets

"Flying the Atlantic again, huh? Well, where's my supper?"

Second ditto: You're crazy! There weren't any planes in the Civil War.

First collector: That's why it's so rare!

All in the Point of View

Student Flyer: What's that tall post over there for?

Instructor: Well, if you go around it, it's a pylon. But if you hit it, it's a pile-on.

Chip Off the Old Block

Major Garrity: I've got a splinter in my finger.

Phineas: I told you to quit scratching your head. Haw−w−w−w!

Let 'Er Rip!

Fair manager: Understand! You don't get a penny unless you drop a thousand feet before pulling the rip cord.

Parachute jumper: Okay. Are you going wear that big white hat on the field?

Fair manager: Why?

Parachute jumper: I want to aim for you if the chute doesn't open.

Fifty-Fifty

Nervous old lady on her first flight: Be careful, driver. This is the first time I've ridden in a plane.

Pilot: That's all right, lady. This is the first time I've flown one.

 - Airplanes and Rockets

"But lady. I tell you I am not a Fuller Brush man!"

Book Worms

Two men were learning to fly, with one at the controls and the other reading directions from a book.

Said the pilot, "What do we do when we want to climb?"

"Pull back the stick," read the second. They climbed all right. "Fine," said the pilot, "Now how do we level off?"

"Push the stick forward," was the reply. Two minutes later, the plane was in a tail spin. "Hey!" shouted the pilot, "How do we get out of a tailspin?"

There was a pause, Then, "It says here, Getting out of a tailspin is covered in volume two. Just send fifty cents.' "

Hold Everything!

Old man (reprovingly): As soon as you got hold of your pa's fortune, you had to buy an airplane.

Youth: Sure! Money always takes wings.

 - Airplanes and Rockets

"There isn't anything you wouldn't do to break up a bridge game, is there, Henry?"

Not Very Dizzy!

Youth: I always get dizzy and want to jump when I look down from a great height.

Efficiency expert: Splendid! You're just the man we want to test our parachutes.

Fair Enough

He (at the fair): So Joe was overjoyed when the balloon ascended?

She: Oh, yes! He was carried away.

Just Poking Along

Wing: I wonder what future generations will say about us.

Strut: I know the exact words.

Wing: What are they?

Strut: "Just think, it used to take our ancestors 15 hours to fly from New York to California!"

Glide Over This One!

You've got to give my little glider lots of credit. Yes, it has no motor to guide her.

 

 

Posted March 18, 2023

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Even during the busiest times of my life I have endeavored to maintain some form of model building activity. This site has been created to help me chronicle my journey through a lifelong involvement in model aviation, which all began in Mayo, MD ...

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