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Humor in the 1930s was a bit
different than it is today. Times were simpler and thought processes were not as
complex as in today's world where information is attacking you every moment of
the day. Public discourse and personal decorum were held to a higher level, so
even stinging jokes and references usually didn't require lowering yourself into
the cultural gutter to comprehend and appreciate. As you read through these
"Wisecrack-Ups" from the May 1934 issue of Flying Aces magazine, some of the
quips will seem corny or downright dumb. Most can be appreciated even by modern
humor standards, and all will be repeatable to any audience regardless of age or
gender. An occasional nod is given to Lt. Phineas Pinkham, of
the the "turbulent and inimitable Ninth Pursuit Squadron," during World War I
(known simply as "the World War" at the time since #II had not occurred yet.) Enjoy.
Wisecrack-Ups
 Taxi in on this runway and pick up a plane
load of laughs! In this department, we present a collection of jokes, cartoons,
and humorous verse. For all original contributions which we can use here, Flying
Aces will pay $1.00. No contributions will be returned unless a stamped, self-addressed
envelope is enclosed.
Impractical Aeronautics No. 59 - An Early Voisin Fighter
We knew we'd come to it eventually - Mad Anthony Mainbearing's
entry into the Great War. Those Lafayette Escadrille guys were months behind Mad
Anthony. He was out there a week before it started and, frankly, we're afraid he
was the prime cause of it. He happened to be in France, showing his early Voisin
fighter. His gunner, Count de la Derringer, spotted a German sausage skimming across
the Verdun forts, taking a pre-war look-see. That was too much for la Derringer.
He drew first blood and a dash of hamburger with a bead on Eric von Tarpotz and
brought down a perfectly useless Taube triplane - sausage machine and all. That
was the beginning of the war in the air.
Here's a Hot One
A new air student started his first flight by loading his plane with hot water
bottles and a couple of oil stoves.
The instructor hauled him back.
"What is all that stuff you've got?"
"Just some knick-knacks," the pupil replied airily, "to keep me from freezing
to the stick."
Try, Try Again!
Slip (as plane passes over his head on take-off): Gosh! That's a swell . tri-motor.
Stream: Tri-motor nothing! That plane's only got one engine.
Slip: Yeah, but it sure does try hard.
Wearing Down the Green
Pat and Mike were having a heavy argument over which one could stand the most
stunting in a plane. Finally they hired a pilot to put on an aerobatic show while
they were his passengers.
Before starting, the pilot said, "When either of you is ready to quit, say 'sufficient.'
"
Up they went, and after about an hour of sky-twisters, Pat suddenly yelled, "Sufficient!"
"Begorra," said Mike, with deep relief, "Oi've been tryin' to think of that word
for the past twinty minutes!"
Pass the Paprika!
Student Pilot: What does this instruction mean by 'Seasoned Squadron'?"
C. O.: I gather they were mustered by the C. O. and peppered by the enemy.
Signal's Off!
First pilot: Joe is good at emergency signaling.
Second: Yes, he has a flare for that!
Two colored boys had left the field in a two-seater to look around the country.
When the plane returned, only one of them was in it.
"Snowball," said the major, what happened to your friend?"
"Well, suh," he quavered, "back about six miles, he fell out. Fo'tunately dere
was a load of hay below him, but unfo'tunately, dere was a pitchfork stickin' up
out of de hay. Well, fo'tunately he missed the pitchfork, but unfo'tunately - he
missed de hay."
Who's Loony Now?
First collector: Want to see a picture of a rare Civil War plane?
"Flying the Atlantic again, huh? Well, where's my supper?"
Second ditto: You're crazy! There weren't any planes in the Civil War.
First collector: That's why it's so rare!
All in the Point of View
Student Flyer: What's that tall post over there for?
Instructor: Well, if you go around it, it's a pylon. But if you hit it, it's
a pile-on.
Chip Off the Old Block
Major Garrity: I've got a splinter in my finger.
Phineas: I told you to quit scratching your head. Haw−w−w−w!
Let 'Er Rip!
Fair manager: Understand! You don't get a penny unless you drop a thousand feet
before pulling the rip cord.
Parachute jumper: Okay. Are you going wear that big white hat on the field?
Fair manager: Why?
Parachute jumper: I want to aim for you if the chute doesn't open.
Fifty-Fifty
Nervous old lady on her first flight: Be careful, driver. This is the first time
I've ridden in a plane.
Pilot: That's all right, lady. This is the first time I've flown one.
"But lady. I tell you I am not a Fuller Brush man!"
Book Worms
Two men were learning to fly, with one at the controls and the other reading
directions from a book.
Said the pilot, "What do we do when we want to climb?"
"Pull back the stick," read the second. They climbed all right. "Fine," said
the pilot, "Now how do we level off?"
"Push the stick forward," was the reply. Two minutes later, the plane was in
a tail spin. "Hey!" shouted the pilot, "How do we get out of a tailspin?"
There was a pause, Then, "It says here, Getting out of a tailspin is covered
in volume two. Just send fifty cents.' "
Hold Everything!
Old man (reprovingly): As soon as you got hold of your pa's fortune, you had
to buy an airplane.
Youth: Sure! Money always takes wings.
"There isn't anything you wouldn't do to break up a bridge game,
is there, Henry?"
Not Very Dizzy!
Youth: I always get dizzy and want to jump when I look down from a great height.
Efficiency expert: Splendid! You're just the man we want to test our parachutes.
Fair Enough
He (at the fair): So Joe was overjoyed when the balloon ascended?
She: Oh, yes! He was carried away.
Just Poking Along
Wing: I wonder what future generations will say about us.
Strut: I know the exact words.
Wing: What are they?
Strut: "Just think, it used to take our ancestors 15 hours to fly from New York
to California!"
Glide Over This One!
You've got to give my little glider lots of credit. Yes, it has no motor to guide
her.
Posted March 18, 2023
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